I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize