I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
