I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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