whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
