im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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