so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
