When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
