Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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