you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
