Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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