i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
