Non-Jews are for practice
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
