you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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