i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
