i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize