Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
