Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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