I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
