There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
