Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
