i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
