So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
