is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize