return my video game
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
