Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize