wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
