I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
