if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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