he shaved USA in his pubs
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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