This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize