I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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