Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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