Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize