And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize