My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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