i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
