I can text with my tongue
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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