All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
