i can't believe i had my finger in that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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