Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
