why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
