I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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