your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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