its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
