i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
