Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize