were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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