just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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