we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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