I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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