also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
