.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
