Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
