Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
