I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
