just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
