just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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