I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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