I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I understand Curling. That high.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
