office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
