Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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